Hate That You Don't Love Me
by LittleTXBelle
Summary: I love the way the world slows down everytime you say my name when you call me your best friend its so hard to complain, I love everything about you, but I hate that you don't love me.
1. Prologue

I Hate That You Don't Love Me  
>Prologue.<p>

Author's Note: So I know I have lots of stories to update, but this story just would not get out of my mind, so here it is. I have big plans for this story, so please bear with me as this story unfolds. I hope y'all love it as much as I do and I do plan to complete What Makes You Beautiful as well as the other stories on my profile. Summer is coming quickly and once summer is her I will be updating A LOT MORE! So like I said bear with me! PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!

_The fridge is full of beer,  
>And the couch is full of crumbs.<br>I go to bed and in my head,  
>I just know he's going to come.<em>

_For my dear old Dad, has made me sad,_  
><em>By playing house with me,<em>  
><em>And you can bet, I can't forget,<em>  
><em>All the things he's done to me.<em>

_For he's robbed me of my purity,_  
><em>And he's stripped me of my pride,<em>  
><em>He took from me my virginity,<em>  
><em>And he ruined me inside.<em>

_It makes no sense my innocence,_  
><em>Was forced to take a tragic fall.<em>  
><em>I don't know why but I know that I,<em>  
><em>Have become my Daddy's Doll.<em>

_I'm so confused for I've been abused,_  
><em>And I don't think he will stop.<em>  
><em>It sounds absurd but If I say a word,<em>  
><em>I know I'll get a pop.<em>

_And I'll have to lie about my eye,_  
><em>When it is black and blue.<em>  
><em>I slipped and fell, I hurt like hell,<em>  
><em>But what am I to do?<em>

_It will do more harm if I tell my Mom,_  
><em>Because she'll think it's a lie.<em>  
><em>And for a fact, she'll tell me that,<em>  
><em>"Daddy's not that type of guy".<em>

_And because I'm young, I bite my tongue,_  
><em>And my tears begin to fall.<em>  
><em>I wonder why I have to cry,<em>  
><em>And be my Daddy's Doll.<em>


	2. Let Me Be The One

**Author's Note: **Alright so thank you to my reviewers, alerters, and favoriters of the preface of this story, Mebs2010, CassyRoxx, edger2deadly, crazybread, Starlinght Night168, And I'll Set Fire To The Rain, and paulswolfgirl2355. Wow I just made up some words :P Well here is the first chapter of Hate That You Don't Love Me, hope you enjoy it!

Chapter One: Let Me Be The One

_Why did you choose to ruin your life?  
>I'm sure I will never know<br>You turned into a nasty man  
>And let your evil grow<br>You took away my childhood  
>And made me all mixed up<br>Why could you not have been my dad?  
><em> 

_**Isabella Marie Swan-Cullen.**_

My guitar holds the key to my life, to all my secrets. It knows about my past, my adoption, my new family, my love life, my tears, and most of all Embry. My guitar is truly the only one that knows about the feelings I hold for Embry. I can't tell the boys, they'd laugh at me. I can't tell Embry because he's just now getting over his Leah obsession, so that just leaves me and my guitar. My guitar knows me inside and out. It will always and forever be my best friend.

"_Monday afternoon, you said you finally held her hand till you smell like her perfume,  
>and you just had to tell your friend and Tuesday was so good, said that I should get to know her,<br>Wednesday you said you understood what love was, but you hadn't told her,  
>My heart wants to scream, she'll never know you not the way I do.<br>I love the way you hush the guys, when you're talking to your mother.  
>When you look into my eyes you make me feel like there's no other.<br>I love the way the world slows down every time you say my name  
>When you call me your best friend it's so hard to complain.<br>I love everything about you, but I hate that you don't love me…"  
><em> 

My strumming came to an abrupt stop when the clearing of a throat caused me to realize that I wasn't alone. I looked up and was met with the soul piercing blue eyes of Embry Call. The emotion displayed in those beautiful blue eyes told me that he had been here a while, meaning he had every word that I had just sung. This then meant he now knew how I felt about him. Crap.

"Bells I…" he began before I cut him off, shaking my head as a single tear slid down my cheek.

"No Embry, we're just gonna forget this ever happened, I already know you don't like me like that you don't have to say it, just go," I told him, attempting to sound convincing while the tears were threatening to spill over. He stepped closer to where I was seated, taking my hands and pulling me to me feet. I sighed as he wrapped his arms tightly around me. He was playing with me, he had to be. He couldn't ever love me anyway, I didn't deserve love and happiness, something my life had made perfectly clear.

"What if I don't want to forget, what if I want you," he told me looking deeply into my eyes. Those last three words broke down all my walls and all the memories came flooding back full force. My past had come to haunt me again and there was nothing I could do to stop it from taunting me. I couldn't move on with my life, I was just too caught up in my horrifying pictures. With these thoughts and taunting pictures and voices swirling around in my head, the whole world went pitch black.

_ "I want you baby girl…." His voice taunted me as his feet shuffled across the carpet._ _How can this man I call Daddy, force me, against my will? I'm only a child, not more than seven, and already I'm praying, Please God, just take me to heaven. I try to scream but the words won't come out, it really doesn't matter, nobody hears me shout. His breath smells like cigarettes and foul whiskey, his dark brown orbs full of lust and hate as he stared at me, and then…. black._

"_Bella he is not that kind of man"  
>"He wouldn't do those things to you Isabella!"<br>"Isabella Marie! Stop making things up about him!"_

_ My drug addict of a mother's voice encircled me, boxing me into my own nightmare, mocking me. She never believed me, no matter how many times I told her. I remember my dad drinking, I remember my mom and dad fighting, I remember the harsh abuse, I remember them telling me I was nothing, I remember my dad's late night parties, I remember them smoking weed, I remember getting nothing to eat, I remember the kicks, the punches, the hitting, and the bruises, I remember social services rescuing me, I remember all the foster homes, and how they affected me, I remember it all._

_ The darkness surrounded me, holding my body, mind, and soul hostage in my past. I felt the warmth of his hand press deep between my thighs, completely ignoring my innocence. My childhood was stolen by a treacherous  
>soul-sucking game.<em> _His secret was well-hidden behind his kind, honest face and his charitable, Christian heart, so no one suspected the child molesting part. __Invisible bars imprison my soul to agonizing denial and pain, his unforgivable sin is kept alive again and again revived by my memory, so it never ends. My daddy was meant to love me, my daddy was meant to be there for me, but he was the one that was my biggest fear. He bought nothing to me but all my tears. I haven't forgotten it, not even after all these years. What more could I expect, it's only going to get worse. I was born a mistake so I guess I'm forever living in a curse. _

_ I'm holding this deep dark secret, and it's swallowing me whole. I don't know where to turn; I don't know who to trust anymore. I hate what he did to me; I hate what he took from me. The darkness surrounds me. It's getting so cold. I'm all alone, my world is so empty; all that's left is pain. No sunshine to light my way, just never ending rain. I drown in tears. My heart is crying and no one seems to notice that my soul is dying. If you look into my eyes you won't see happy, what you see won't be pretty. The way I act makes me seem like I'm just fine, but just look into my eyes and you will see everything that I am trying so desperately to hide._

"That's it baby girl, come back to me." Embry. He was here with me; I wasn't alone, I wasn't back with my biological bastards, no, I was home, safe and sound in Embry's arms. My eyes fluttered open and I looked up at him through my tears. He smiled gently at me, placing a kiss to my forehead before tightening to his arms around me.

He whispered to me, assuring me quietly that everything was going to be alright, just fine. I attempted unsuccessfully to control the emotions that were coursing through my very soul, and what he said next was definitely not helpful.

"Bells I know you think that your so broken your unfixable, but I swear to you if you give me the chance, I will do everything in my power to fix your broken soul, to show you what love should be, to always make your feel happy, and to make sure you never get hurt again. All you have to do is trust me, give me your heart and I swear to God I won't break it, I love you Baby Bells, so damn much. Just let me love you baby." I was blinking back tears by the end of his little speech, and then Embry kissed me, right smack on the lips, and it was like fireworks exploded around us…

"_Let me be the one who calls you baby all the time, surely you can take some comfort knowing that your mine, just hold me tight, lay by my side, let me be the one who calls you baby all the time"  
>-The Used, Smother Me<em>


	3. Can You Feel The Love Tonight?

**Hate That You Don't Love Me  
>Chapter Two: Can You Feel The Love Tonight?<strong>

"_Can you feel the love tonight?_

_The peace the evening brings_

_The world, for once, in perfect harmony_

_With all its living things…"_

_-Can You Feel the Love Tonight? from Disney's The Lion King_

**Isabella Marie Swan-Cullen**

Two months, two absolutely wonderful months filled with nothing but happiness. I can't say I have ever truly felt happiness at any point of my life until now. My soul has always been filled with feelings of depression, self-loathing, loneliness, and hatred. Happiness was a whole new experience. It bubbled up inside of me and had me on a seemingly constant giggle-filled high, and it felt amazing. This was coupled with an incredibly pleasant sensation in my soul that was even more of a foreign concept to me than happy. That delightful sensation is, in a social context, called _**love**_. Could it be possible that, after only two short months, I was already falling in _**love**_ for Embry? I knew now that not every love story ended in pain and suffering; most ended peacefully and the lucky ones never end at all. If you would have asked me this a year ago I would have told you that I wasn't sure if it was probable that a person can feel so many pleasurable emotions around and for one single person, as I had never witnessed that before my adoption. Now, I think it is possible to be happy and to love without fears of pain.

The immense love my adoptive parents shared was the most beautiful thing I had ever had the pleasure of being exposed to. Carlisle and Esme had been married for almost 25 years now and had three children, including me, and still looked at each other with the same love and adoration that could be seen in their wedding photos. That is true love.

Both of the Cullen boys had found that one special person and each relationship was filled with so much love that it almost brought me tears every time I caught a glimpse of one of the fairytale couples. Completely curious as to how it feels to truly be in love with someone, I asked each of them separately to tell me their own love story.

Emmett had met Rosalie Hale his freshman year in high school. She was the popular head cheerleader and he was the freshman quarterback of the football team. He had asked her out multiple times only to be shot down again and again. He never gave up hope though and ended up chasing her for a good year and a half before they got together in the middle of their junior year. Emmett may be a huge goof ball around his friends, but when it came to Rose he was almost a whole different person. He loved, cherished, protected, and worshipped her like a goddess. Now, they are headed to college in the fall, together and stronger than ever. That is true love.

An overly shy Jasper met a very charismatic Alice Brandon her freshman year at Hollywood Arts. Alice was part of the chorus for the musical the school was putting on that year and Jasper, a sophomore at the time, was working the curtains for said musical. She was interested from the first time she set her sights on him, but of course Jasper never had the nerve to peruse anything more than a friendship with this blue-eyed beauty. Alice just couldn't wait for him to make a move as she was an extremely impatient person, so when opening night came Alice made her feelings known quite vividly. After curtain call she marched right over to Jasper, grabbed him by his t-shirt, and kissed him like there was no tomorrow; they have been a happy couple ever since. That is true love.

The moment I realized what Embry and I had was true love I was sitting in my sophomore English class, doodling absently in my notebook as teacher drowned on about the uses of rhetoric in persuasive writing. I flipped through my notebook, trying to find a blank page to doodle on when I came across a note from Embry.

_**My Beautiful Bella,**_

_**Every moment we have spent together has touched our lives, our souls forever. The things that we shared and learned are permanent growth of ourselves that we've earned. The person that I have grown into today did not get there by chance; I am who I am partly because of you. The changes I see and what I have learned about me are a mere response to how we affected our lives and what we discover in each other's eyes. We are connected on such a deep levels that no one can remove that, not even the devil. Our feelings might be different a year from now, but you are part of me forever somehow. A part of me will always be you, no matter what happens, our souls are one until life closes the curtain. I will love your forever for worse or for better. You are tattooed in my heart, and nothing can tear our souls apart. I promise to always lift you up when you are feeling down. I promise to wipe your tears when you feel you need to cry. I promise to keep you smiling to show off that beautiful smile you have. I promise to be your strength whenever you fall weak. I promise to be your voice when you can't find the words. I promise to be your eyes when you cannot see. I promise to be your ears when you cannot hear. I promise to always tell you what's real when you want to hear the truth. I promise to be your dream catcher to chase away your every fear. I promise to be your smile when you're frowning. I promise to always cheer you up when you are down and blue. I promise to give you faith when you are feeling insecure. I promise to keep you sturdy when you are feeling unsafe. I promise to listen when you need to talk. I promise to tell you no lies, just what is true. I promise to always lend you my shoulder for when you need to cry. I promise to always hold you when you need someone. I promise to always care for you wherever you are I promise to always be there. I promise to never hurt you and never break your heart. I can't promise you the world. I can't promise you the sky. I can't promise you that we will never fight. I can't promise you that I will never cry, but I can promise you that I will always be true to you. Baby I promise that I will always love you more than anything, with all my heart. No matter what happens or what we go through, I'll be your guardian angel. That, my Bella, is my promise to you.**_

_**All My Love,  
>Embry Call<strong>_

Embry's sweet words brought a smile to my face and a deep crimson blush to my cheeks. I looked up from my lap, meeting Embry's eyes from across the room. That's when it hit me like a ton of bricks; I was completely and totally in love with Embry Call. I was in love with his smile, his rich brown eyes, his slightly shaggy black hair, his kind heart and giving soul, just everything about him. My stomach fills up with butterflies every time my eyes lock with his. I search for words, but he leaves me speechless. I can't think straight, my heart starts to race. Just the thought of him warms me even on the coldest day. His smile is like a ray of sunshine; it brightens the darkest corners of my soul. His touch alone resurrects my heart that was dark as coal. He has been able to bring it back to life, given it a reason to beat. He gives me the inspiration to wake up, the power to stand on my own two feet. Surprising enough, I'm not scared to love him. I'm okay when he's around. He's kind of given my heart a soundtrack and I happen to like the sound. He has given me hope for a better life like an angel guiding me out of my sorrow.

I love the way he tells me that I'm beautiful, and the way he make me laugh like no one else. I love the way he moves the hair away from my eyes, and then kisses my face. I love the way he sings to me at random moments, and then looks at me and smiles. I love the way the smell of his cologne lingers on my clothes after we hug. I love the way he sends me my favorite flowers along with an "I LOVE YOU" card just because he feels like it. I love the way he speaks his mind and tells me about his opinions. I love that he is not afraid to cry and show his feelings. I love the way he calls me in the middle of the day just to say I love and miss you. I love the way he tells his friends about me and smiles the whole time. I love the way he whispers into my ear, the way his voice sounds so close to me that it feels like I'm dreaming. I love how he is not ashamed to do all of these things in front of his boys. I love the way he treats me and I absolutely love being his.

**Author's Note:** _So I am so sorry it has taken me so long to update this story, I've had the chapter written I just had no time to type it! So again I'm sorry._

_Y'all check out **RubyDragonJewel**'s stories. I will be acting as her beta reader from now on, she has a great talent, just some grammar issues that are easily fixed, and y'all should totally check her out._

_I really hope y'all are enjoying this story, once I complete My Marine, I will move to one of my other stories to complete, not including this story, What Makes You Beautiful and Check Yes Juliet. That's where y'all come in, I need you to PM me or review on the story you want completed and the one with the most votes will be completed first. THANKS A BUNCH! Daughter of Greatness is under revision, but is also in the running._

_We only have 6 reviews here presently, but I'd like to thank every single one of you that has left me your love. I do ask that y'all leave your honest opinions, good or bad. If there is something you don't like or don't understand please let me know and I will clear it up ASAP! I love to hear your input so please don't be afraid to leave it! I know y'all love to tell me how good it is and such but please also include something you didn't like; I would love to hear it._


End file.
